WHY

ThePhan: I say some strange things when I am alone.
ThePhan: Just now I found myself saying out loud, in a terrible fake French accent, "Where are my headphones? Zey are - how you say - important to me."
ThePhan: WHY DID I DECIDE I NEEDED TO DO THAT

Flush the Snake AWAY!

geneva: This reminds me of a slightly unrelated story. One day I came home from a party really sleepy
geneva: and apparently I dropped my phone down the toilet
geneva: now, I was washing my hands when I looked and saw lights at the bottom of the toilet. I don't know what was going through my head but the first thing I thought was SNAKE!
geneva: my reaction to this was, for some reason, to flush said toilet repeatedly
goldfishy: Flush the snake away!
geneva: when the lights wouldn't go away I got curious and stuck my head in the bowl real close, and realized it was my phone
Kysle: My sister dropped her wallet/purse into an outhouse, once.
geneva: From that day on I realized my survival instincts were broken
geneva: 1) Lights = Snake.......what????
geneva: 2) Snake = FLUSH THE TOILET!!! FLUSH THE TOILET!!!! o.O What the heck....
geneva: and 3) It won't go away, so I'm going to stick my head REALLY CLOSE next to it.......>.<

Cabbage

Goosey: Morning! I got cabbages!
Sentynel: Cabbage does not belong in any excited sentence ever.
Goosey: It does when you will be making a delicious corned beef and cabbage dinner for your brother's St. Patty's Day Party tonight.
Sentynel: Cabbage does not belong in anything described as delicious either.
* Sentynel shudders

Russian Lesson

geneva: ugh
geneva: I gotta come up with a lesson plan for the Russian Revolution
* geneva cries
TalkingDog: In Soviet Russia, lesson plans you.
geneva: lol TD
Sentynel: Spend the entire lesson talking in a comedy Russian accent. Feed them borscht. Send half of them to Siberia.
Sentynel: Or all of them, for that matter.
geneva: LOL
geneva: Everytime someone talks I send them to Siberia
Sentynel: Exactly!
geneva: Thats eet, you go to Siberia now, dont pass go, no collect 200 ruble

Hardcore

* Maryam does dishes bluuuuhhhh
Maryam is away.
Grishny: bluuuuhhh she says. Does that mean she's crying?
ThePhan: Maybe she is washing the dishes in her own tears.
ThePhan: That would be intense.
Sam: Maryam is HARDCORE.

Soy Late

* LaZorra needs coffee. /me has a coupon. /me goes for a soy late.
* LaZorra forgets how /me works.
Goosey: LOL
10Kan: LaZorra, you're the best internet-using cavegirl ever.
LaZorra: MANY MOONS PAST, ME EAT BUG
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: A soy late?
Sentynel: Is that one that doesn't arrive until you want to go to bed?
Goosey: LOL LOL
LaZorra: LOL!!
LaZorra: LATTE
LaZorra: A LATTE
LaZorra: SHOT OP SENT
* LaZorra mails a shot op.
Sentynel: I'm pretty sure sending corpses through the postal service is illegal.
Sentynel: Is this like the Godfather? Rather than waking up to a horse's head in my bed, I'm going to find a body in my pigeon hole warning me about mocking your typos?
LaZorra: Sent: I didn't say he was dead. It's just a flesh wound.
10Kan: I hope the pigeons are uncommon large, or it's going to get really messy.
LaZorra: OKAY I REALLY AM GOING TO GET A LATTE NOW
Dave has entered.
LaZorra: :-P
Sentynel: LaZ: I think sending live people through the mail is illegal as well.
Sentynel: Enjoy. =p
Dave: n00bz
* LaZorra makes a Dave latte.
10Kan: d4v3z
* LaZorra is basically drinking liquid bricks and smashed insects.
LaZorra is away.
Goosey: Ewwwwwwww

Cheater

* Sentynel blinks
Sentynel: I can read Greek.
Sentynel: I'm not sure entirely when this happened.
Sentynel: But the title to one of the songs on one of today's new albums is in Greek, and I can read it.
LaZorra: ...
LaZorra: QUICK
LaZorra: TRY SHOOTING LASERS OUT OF YOUR EYES
* Sentynel focuses really hard, then cheats and tucks his laser pointer behind his ear

Piddly and Quirky

LaZorra: If I were a celebrity, especially a quirky one (and really, what other kind would I be?), I would totally go around contributing piddly little bits of money to extremely random foundations.
LaZorra: Just so that people would look at it and think, "Nah, it's not HER."

Harry Potter by Dave

Dave: I'm on the sixth one now.
Dave: I have to say, they fit together much better when you read them all at once.
Dave: Although I think I can retitle the books so the titles are more accurate than the ones JK came up with.
Dave: Here's my list of new improved titles.
Dave: Harry Potter and the Turbaned Terrorist
Dave: Harry Potter and the Girls Loo
Dave: Harry Potter and Friends Break The Law Over and Over
Dave: Harry Potter and the Ridiculously Overcomplex Plot to Get Him To Touch a Portkey
Dave: Harry Potter and Friends Bitch At Each Other
Dave: Harry Potter and Professor Snapes Old Potions Book
Dave: Harry Potter and The Long Camping Trip
Dave: See? Much better.
goldfishy: Not quite as refined but they work
Dave: I'm nothing if not unrefined.

Corn Chips

ThePhan: The interviewer said, "Gorgeous, gorgeous" to Gwyneth Paltrow's dress, but I thought he said, "Corn chips, corn chips."
Sam: THE DRESS IS MADE OF CORN CHIPS.

Just Say SAID

ThePhan: I eventually want to film one of the talky scenes from the book with the actors doing EXACTLY what Meyer says her characters are doing. Because I'm pretty sure she just picks random words that can mean "said" and throws in adverbs and descriptions of gestures at random.
Sam: TP: UGH.
ThePhan: Her characters carry on calm discussions while they swoon and flail and their eyes flame right before they whisper tearfully and right after they snarl exotically.
Sam: JUST SAY "SAID".
Sam: LOL LOL LOL
Dave: Twighlight damages brains.
* Sam laughs, snarling exotically.

Big Teeth

ThePhan: Just saw an ad for Little Red Riding Hood. Is Mia/Mina/whatsherface ONLY going to be in dark remakes of children's stories?
Sam: The Twilight director is making that.
Sam: Which explains why it looks like Twilight.
ThePhan: Gah. Sad.
ThePhan: The Twilight director shouldn't make anything.
Sentynel: "My, what big teeth you have, Grandma!" "All the better to drink your blood with. What? That's cool now."
Sam: Sent: LOL

Phanniness

* ThePhan keeps on using nonexistent words in her conversation with her friend Anna. So far she's talked about something "not working Internetly" and expressed doubt about Anne Hathaway's "hostyness."

Sam Won't Share

Sam: WHO CARES ABOUT THE DAMN CLOTHES
Mia: You know you care, Sam.
NessaChan: lol.
Sentynel: He's just jealous 'cos he doesn't look as good in a dress.
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: Does Captain Kirk look better in the dress?
Sentynel: Only if it's a warp dress.
ThePhan: Because maybe he should share.
Sam: I will not share.
Randy: Meany.
NessaChan: Captain Kirk makes everything look fabulous.

Hokey Cokey

ThePhan: OK, Internet is iffyish in here. So I may jump in and out.
goldfishy: In out, in out, you shake it all about! You do the hokey cokey and you turn around - and that's what Phan's net's all about! HEY!
ThePhan: goldfishy: LOL

Syntax Error

Randy: gtffffffffxgtttttttttttttttttttttt dcvc
niekie: Parsing failed. Syntax error.
Randy: sorry, 2 year old typing

This Post Is Hilarious~

Goosey: Oh yay~
Goosey: !
Goosey: Hrm. That ~ almost makes it look sarcastic.
Sam: Oh no, that totally doesn't look sarcastic~
Sam: By the way, you are SO awesome~
Goosey: LOL
Sam: I'm whooping for joy over here~
Sam: You're right, that does work.
Goosey: I KNEW we'd find a reason for that funny little symbol someday.
Sentynel: There's already a reason. It's your home directory on Unix systems.
Sentynel: Now I'm forever going to be thinking my file paths are being sarcastic at me.
iwpg: LOL
Sam: That makes ~2 uses for it so far!
Sam: If only we could think of a third....
Sentynel: LOL
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: You guys are so funny~

Anti-Socialist

Ticia: Someone once asked me why we home school, and I jokingly answered "Because we're anti-socialists." She said "Oh, that's not true! You're one of the most social people I know!"
Goosey: LOL LOL
Ticia: And then I laughed, silently, for hours.

Frission

Goosey: Why? Why why why do I like scary movies?
Ticia: Because the word frission is one of the coolest words (and feelings) in the world?
Ticia: Just say it. "Frission"
Ticia: Frissssssssion

Hon vs. Babe

* Ticia is all caught up on links now.
* Grishny unhooks Ticia from the links
Grishny: There you go, hon.
Grishny: You had some trailers.
Grishny: Those things just stick to everything, don't they?
Maryam: I totally thought that was Goosey. Especially because of the "hon".
Goosey: LOL
Grishny: Dang. I knew I should have gone with "babe"

In chat, Grish and I look an awful lot alike. Outside of chat, not so much. ;)

Mouthful of What?

Maryam: iwpg: Did you forget how to finish words?
Grishny: Thi i aweso wa to ta! I ma perfe sen!
Goosey: LOL
Grishny: That actually sounds like someone talking with a mouth full of food.
Goosey: O_O
Goosey: Oh, "food" not "blood" which is how I first read it.
Ticia: LOL
Grishny: Believe it or not, after I typed it and hit enter, I reread it and thought "mouthful of blood' too.

Fries and Chips

* TalkingDog has a well-balanced lunch today. Fries AND chips, with a side of we-need-to-go-shopping.

Poophead

Maryam: Ok, so I need a strategy for dealing with my stupid rude poophead of a neighbor.
Maryam: Part of the strategy will be not calling them that to their face.

"Singing"

Sentynel: I have just discovered the oddest music ever.
Sentynel: It's a hybrid of pop-techno and death metal.
Sentynel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF-3edk7qYI
Sentynel: Some genre fusion music works really well. And then there's this.
Goosey: Why do people enjoy "singing" that sounds like Legion clearing its collective throat?
TalkingDog: That is the best description ever.

Glade

LaZorra: I had a crazy great-aunt, but she was more like very sharp and didn't care what anyone thought.
LaZorra: My dad and I were playing cards with her once, and she let out a very loud fart, followed by, "Oh dear, get the Glade."

BRING

LaZorra: Goosey: Whoa, you have crazy dreams.
LaZorra: I dreamed about Twitter and paper plates last night.
Goosey: LaZ: My head is a strange, strange wonderland.
Goosey: BRING
Goosey: *BORING
* LaZorra BRINGS
* Goosey makes telephone noises.
* LaZorra answers Goosey.
LaZorra: Hello? Hello?

Be Still

Leen: I get this little tiny cup of coffee, and he tries to still it! Hrmph.
LaZorra: And he said to the coffee, "Pease! Be still!"
Ticia: He tried to turn it into alcohol?
* LaZorra gives up.
Leen: Um yeah, *steal
Leen: :-P
Sam: Peas are always rolling around.
Sam: Hard to keep them still.
Ticia: LaZorra likes to share her typos around sometimes.
* LaZorra feels perfectly justified in pointing out other people's typose. :-p
Leen: I read that like 3 times, and still didn't see the typo.
Leen: lol
* Sam adopts the Ty pose.
Sentynel: LaZ: You typoed "typo". =p
LaZorra: OH WHATEVER
Nyperold: Pease coffee hot! Pease coffee cold! Pease coffee in the pot, 9 days old!
LaZorra: YOU PEOPLE SUCK

Hot Op

LaZorra: Also, I'll have to reward the braces info.
LaZorra: And by "reward," I opbviuosly mean "reaserach"
LaZorra: ...exept not.
Sam: Opbviuosly.
LaZorra: GAH
LaZorra: AHOT OP
LaZorra: SHOT. SHOT OP
* Sam is a hot op.

Equation

Goosey: -78 b
Goosey: SOrry, knocked over my keyboard
Sentynel: It's probably bad that I keep reading "-78b" as part of an equation for something.

Tarragon

Sam: Tarragon sounds more like a warrior name than a spice.
Sam: TARRAGON, THE MIGHTY.
Sam: WITH CILANTRO, HIS AMBIGUOUSLY ETHNIC WACKY SIDEKICK!
Sam: EMBROILED IN A PERILOUS EPIC BATTLE WITH HIS ARCH-ENEMY MARJORAM IN A RACE AGAINST THYME!
Sam: (har har har)
Nyperold: CAN HE RESCUE HIS LOVE INTEREST ANISE FROM FOUL MARJORAM'S CLUTCHES?
Nyperold: "No! I'll never tell!" "Then let's see how you endure... THE RACK!"
Sam: "FEAR NOT, FAIR ANISE!" Tarragon shouted. "I'M CUMIN TO GET YOU!"
* Nyperold looks at a list.
Nyperold: Ooh. So this happens at the end of the story: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lovage
Sam: hahaha
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: And so that's the end of this savory caper?
Sam: Yeah. In the sequel, Anise gets lost (damsels being what they are), and Tarragon got fed up, so he married Rosemary instead.
Goosey: Adapted to a screenplay by Cory Ander.
Sam: I love Cory's work.
Sam: Talented family in general. I love his sister Lav's bath salts.
Goosey: Brought to you by MSG Studios.

Mustache!

LaZorra: HERE IS A CAT WITH DARTH VADER ON IT: http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/enhance...0/enhanced-buzz-2293-1298164286-48.jpg
LaZorra: I mean, hi.
Sentynel: LaZ: I, er, that's awesome.
Grishny: Oh yeah? Well here is a beard made of lightsabers! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/
Goosey: Grish: That is a mustache.
Grishny: Well dang.
Grishny: I misspoke.
Grishny: Again.
Grishny: I think I'm exceeding my quota.
LaZorra: Goosey/Grish: LOL
ThePhan: A beard made of a mustache?
Goosey: Hahaha mustache
Goosey: .... *amazing.
Goosey: As in "That post was amazing."
Goosey: ...
Sentynel: Goosey: LOL LOL
* Goosey's fingers will get not dessert today.
Goosey: >..
Goosey: *no
Sentynel: I am so using moustache as a synonym of awesome from this point on.
* Goosey slinks away.
Sentynel: HEY LAZORRA, YOU ARE SO MOUSTACHE.
Goosey: HEY LAZORRA I DID ALL YOUR TYPOS FOR YOU SO YOU CAN HAVE THE DAY OFF
LaZorra: GOOSEY THANK YOU
LaZorra: I WILL LEAVE NOW
LaZorra: Sent: I actually call my mom's cat "Jabba the Catt" because she's so huge. That cracked me up.
Kysle: I thought you just said you called your MOM "Jabba the Cat"
* LaZorra also just nw sees gooseY"S hahahahamustache post and dies laughing.
Kysle: And I as, like, "..."
Goosey: LOL LOL
Kysle: *was
LaZorra: GOOSEY YOU RATE TOTALLY MUSTACHE
LaZorra: Er.
LaZorra: *YOU ARE
* LaZorra rates Goosey's mustache a 7.
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: LAZORRA I MUSTACHE YOU A QUESTION
Goosey: (say it aloud)
LaZorra: LOL LOL

No Pink?

ScatterBot: Name a color that starts with P.
ScatterBot: Time's up! Vote for the best submission. (You can't vote for yourself!)
ScatterBot: Raise objections to any invalid entries at this time. (2 required to disqualify
ScatterBot: Vote 1 for puce.
ScatterBot: Vote 2 for periwinkle.
Nyperold: vote 2
ThePhan: vote 1
Ticia: vote 1
Randy: No pink? We are AWESOME
Goosey: vote 2
Goosey: Or Purple? LOL

Hooray for Rears!

ScatterBot: Ticia wins 2 points for rear.
ScatterBot: Goosey wins 1 point for femur.
ScatterBot: Nyperold wins 1 point for finger.
ScatterBot: ThePhan wins 1 point for finger.
ScatterBot: Vote Results: Goosey wins 2 points for femur.
ScatterBot: Vote Results: Ticia wins 2 points for rear.
ScatterBot: Vote Results: Nyperold wins 1 point for finger.
ScatterBot: Vote Results: ThePhan wins 1 point for finger.
Ticia: Woo!
Ticia: Hooray for rears!

Kill These People

LaZorra: SO HELP ME I WILL KILL THESE PEOPLE
LaZorra: Producer: "Looks like this file is the same as this other file."
LaZorra: Me: "Email the coordinator and tell her to fix it."
LaZorra: Producer: *continues to look at both files*
LaZorra: Me: "Looks like they deleted your other project file."
LaZorra: Producer: "Yeah, these are definitely the same file."
LaZorra: Me: "I can probably restore it from a draft."
LaZorra: Producer: "Look, see, these are the same file."
LaZorra: Me: "EMAIL THE COORDINATOR. GET HER TO FIX IT BEFORE SHE LEAVES."
LaZorra: Producer: "Yeah, this guy was definitely in the other story."
LaZorra: Me: *harrumphs, emails the coordinator*
LaZorra: Producer: "Oh, are you emailing the coordinator?"
LaZorra: Me: "YES"
LaZorra: Producer: "Oh, it looks like they deleted my other project file."
LaZorra: Me: *cartoon steam out of ears*
* Sentynel passes LaZorra a sword to help her kill these people.

Singing the Advice

Grishny: Do I want a pumpkin & pecan or a dark chocolate coconut?
10Kan: Pumpkin and pecan. Too early for dark chocolate.
ThePhan: Dark chocolate coconut sounds delicious.
ThePhan: But then I don't care for pumpkin or pecan. So, really, follow your heart.
* 10Kan is slinging the advice today.
* ThePhan is singing the advice today.
ThePhan: Eeeeeeat the dark choooocolate, la ba dee doo!