Sam is Sam

(Getting to know some new people in chat, the conversation had turned to how old everyone was.)

Replica19: How old is Sam?
Xoon: 5 :P
Goosey: Sam is ageless.
Goosey: He is the Creator.
Goosey: He is the Rink.
Replica19: Is he a bot? XD
Replica19: oh lol
Vonnis: I'm off for a bit to find some food.
Vonnis: Laters peeps.
Sessie: No, he's--wait. IS Sam a bot?
Goosey: Nope.
Goosey: He transcends bot.
Sessie: Oh, that's right.
Xoon: He's a AI!
Kalimeris: Sam is the music planets make.
Goosey: He's OI.
Sessie: There's nothing A about his I.
Xoon: He's HIAI :P
Goosey: Now you're getting it.
Replica19: So Sam is a god or something?
Vonnis has left. 
Sessie: You know that place between sleep and awake? That place where you still remember dreaming?
Goosey: That's Sam.
Sessie: That's where you'll find Sam. That's where he'll be waiting.
Replica19: Creepy.
Xoon: Limbo, or sleep paralysis?
Goosey: Sam made the RinkWorks.
Goosey: Without Sam was nothing in the RinkWorks made.
Replica19: I know, but the way you describe him is creepy. XD
Goosey: Everything in the RinkWorks was made by him, of him, for him.
* Xoon pokes Goosey
Sessie: Sam is you. Sam is me.
Sessie: He is us all, and we are all him.
Replica19: Um
Replica19: xD
Goosey: Does that answer your question?
Replica19: Sure... :)
* Xoon pokes Goosey 
Goosey: Sam knows all. He's probably watching right now.
Replica19: That's comforting. xD
Xoon: Can he read PMs?
* Xoon pokes Goosey 
* Ghost_of_Sam is not watching. 
Sessie: Sam is PMs.
Goosey: Poke me again and see what happens.
Sessie: NOW YOU'VE DONE IT
Goosey: Ooooh you guys woke him up!
* Replica19 pokes Goosey. 
[RinkChat] User Replica19 has been shrunken by Goosey. 
Ghost_of_Sam: Whoooo has dared waken me from my slumber...........
* Xoon pokes Ghost_of_Sam 
Replica19: Aw I'm tiny ^_^
Goosey: These new kids were asking about you. We answered best we could.
* Replica19 unpokes Goosey. 
* Ghost_of_Sam is PMS 
Sessie: Hope you're all shielding your eyes.
* Replica19 has been punished prop[erly.
[RinkChat] User Replica19 has been unshrunken by Goosey. 
Sessie: Would hate to see some noob faces melting.
Replica19: Yay!
* Xoon pokes Sam
* Goosey makes an offering of sugar and lemon juice to the great Sam
* Sessie offers ginger ale 
* Xoon pokes Sam 
* Goosey also offers chocolate so Sam will be somewhat less PMS
* Xoon pokes Sam (12:16:29) Replica19: You guys gonna spray perfume on him too? 
* Ghost_of_Sam groannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns and slowwwwwwwwwly eats the chocolate. 
Goosey: Xoon is a one-trick pony
* Ghost_of_Sam sinks back into the ether. 
Sessie: Sam exudes pure unadulterated beauty and has no need for earthly perfumes.
Replica19: XD Goosey rofl
* Xoon pokes Sam
Goosey: Sam is the essence of pulchritudinousness
* Replica19 pokes Xoon in the pony eye 
Replica19: This. Is. Creepy now :D
Replica19: I think I get the idea you guys have :)
Xoon: Got to eat brb
* Xoon pokes Sam 
[RinkChat] User Xoon has been kicked from the room by Goosey. 

Productivity

Sam: Worst enemy of productivity. Well, other than just being lazy. It's needing to do something you don't want to do before doing the thing you do want to do (writing), but you don't want to do the thing you don't want to do, so you just do nothing instead, thereby getting neither the thing you don't want to do done nor the thing you do want to do done.
Dave: WELL SAID

Thumping Bass and Charity Claps

(Maryam was complaining about her neighbor's loud thumping music)

Sam: Maryam: Neighbors thumping bass is the worst experience you can have in a first world country.
Sentynel: Thumping tuna is totally okay, though.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: I endured that through college and the housing row we lived in afterward. It made me murderous.
Sam: It's now a major consideration in choosing wherever we move to. If it looks like I might have to endure thumping bass from someone, I don't live there.
Sam: It's not always easy to know, of course.
Sentynel: If I almost never hear thumping bass, does this mean it's mine annoying everyone else?
Sam: Bad memories of when I was in college and being woken up at 4am because the drunk idiots next door had a humongous stereo set up against my wall.
Sam: If I was playing music when they turned that thing on, I stopped being able to hear MY OWN music.
Sentynel: ...wow.
Sentynel: https://xkcd.com/368/
Sam: I can't even stand it now when a car goes by whose occupant is blasting a subwoofer too loud.
Sam: ...Like in that strip.
Sentynel: Precognitively relevant xkcd!
Sam: Precognitive Relevance would be a good name for a band.
Sentynel: Ooh, yes.
Sam: Or a tumblr, before you go and fetch that xkcd comic too.
Sentynel: LOL
Sentynel: Dammit.
Sentynel: I totally was as well.
Sam: Oh, go ahead.
Sentynel: https://xkcd.com/1025/
* Sam claps politely.
Sentynel: Thanks.
Goosey: LOL

Cheese Nap of the Dead

Sam has entered.
TalkingDog: El Sammo, hola.
TalkingDog: Queso siesta de los muertos.
* TalkingDog just says all the Spanish words that come to mind.
Maryam: Cheese nap of the dead? Ominous.
TalkingDog: Cheesy doooooom.
TalkingDog: yyyyyyyyeah, I'm gonna get some sleep. Gonna try for a nap, but I'll probably leave out the cheese and death parts.
Maryam: That's what you think.
Maryam: Now you'll be dreaming about cheesy death.
TalkingDog: Probably.
TalkingDog: Abierto cerrado!
(These next two lines were said at the same time)
TalkingDog: I learned those on Sesame Street.
Maryam: Someone's been watching their Sesame Street.
TalkingDog: hehe
TalkingDog has left.

Time of Death

Dave has left.
Sam: DAVE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sam: YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW!
Sam: NOT ON MY WATCH!
Sam: CLEAR!
Sam: thump
Sam: CLEAR!
Sam: thump
Sam: dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Sam: Aw, man.
TalkingDog: Time of death, Hammer Time.
* TalkingDog gets down.

Dave gets introduced to Minecraft

Dave: I think I just punched a chicken.
TalkingDog: Chicken puncher.
Nyperold: Kung Pow Chicken: Enter the Fist
____
Dave: And... I got killed by a zombie.
TalkingDog: brainz
Dave: In retrospect, digging a big hole in the sand was probably not my best plan for surviving a monster attack.
TalkingDog: Zombies don't like swords. You should make one.
Dave: I was trying, but I couldn't figure out how.
Dave: I guess I'll watch some videos now to find out what the hell to do.
Sam: LOL
Dave: I managed to build a workbench. But I couldn't find sticks. And everything beyond that requires sticks, apparently.
Dave: I punched the fork out of plenty of trees, but no sticks.
Randy: LOL
TalkingDog: Sticks are made from planks.
Dave: Ooooh. Thanks.
Dave: I absolutely love that resource collection involves PUNCHING THINGS.
Goosey: LOL LOL
_____
Dave: Oh man, you lose all your stuff when you die? My precious, precious things! That I punched various objects to collect!
TalkingDog: You can go pick it up, if it hasn't despawned.
TalkingDog: Items despawn in 5 minutes.  
_____
Dave: This tutorial guy needs to do more teaching and less telling me about how if I don't learn what he's about to teach I'll die.
Goosey: LOL
TalkingDog: That doesn't sound like a great tutorial.
Dave: Because I already learned that part the hard way.
Maryam: Are you still trying to figure out how to make sticks?
LaZorra: "Are you still trying to figure out how to make sticks?" is the best out-of-context line I've seen for a while.
LaZorra: IT IS SO HARD TO MAKE STICKS
Goosey: LOL LOL
Dave: Whoa. I made a door.
Goosey: Yay a door!
Dave: I punched the stuff out of a tree and somehow made a door. That's awesome.
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: I am glad you are enjoying yourself punching the stuff out of stuff.
Dave: LaZorra: It IS hard to make sticks. I mean, I thought punching trees would be enough. But no, first you have to punch trees to get wood, then you combine the wood into planks, and then from planks you can make sticks.
Randy: LOL
Goosey: Making sticks is SCIENCe.
Goosey: Okay, Goosey is going to make herself go to bed now.
Dave: How do I pause. Does it just auto pause?
Randy: nights!
Goosey: Dave: Esc.
TalkingDog: It'll pause if you're out of window too, but not if you have certain things open. (Inventory, crafting window, and similar.)
Dave: Ok cool.
Goosey: Dave: Also, pressing F3 will show your coordinates, and F5 will change the camera view
Dave: I wasn't sure if it actually paused on the options screen or not.
Goosey: yuppers
Dave: COORDINATES
Dave: Those could be handy.
Goosey: yus
Goosey: HAVE FUN

Telling Dave

Goosey: hahahah http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2010/12/is-there-app-for-baby-dialing.html
Sentynel: Goosey: LOL LOL
Goosey: Seriously this is the best blog ever.
Dave: But my blog has WAY more swears!
Goosey: Dave: Your blog only has WAY more technical swears. If we count almost-swears-but-not-cause-we-can-say-these-in-front-of-the-kids they are way ahead of you.
Dave: Darn.
Sam: She told you.
Goosey: Now I feel bad.
Dave: I have been told.
Dave: Wait, feel bad about what?
Goosey: For telling you.
Dave: Telling me I don't swear enough?
Dave: Don't be silly.
Goosey: hehehe
Sam: It hurtses the Daveses feelingses.
Sam: Yess it doess.
Goosey: lol
Dave: I'll just have to try harder to swear more in the future, that's all.

Oops . . .

* Sam just got a fortune cookie that said, "Oops... Wrong cookie."

Face Removal

Dave: That reminds me of the visa stamp I got in my passport the first time I visited New Zealand.
Dave: Or, well, I got it every time I visited. But it was only funny the first time.
Rose_Monster: What did it say?
Dave: It said something like how I had to be out of the country by one month of the date stamped below, or FACE REMOVAL.
Maryam: LOL
Sam: LOL LOL
Dave: I thought taking my face off was a pretty harsh punishment for overstaying my visa.
Sam: That sounds severe.
Maryam: That'd make sure I was out of the country by that time.
Sentynel: My NZ immigration stamp says "face deportation".
goldfishy: Sounds effective!

Country Music

Goosey: Oh my gosh. So we're playing music in Turntable.
Goosey: Somebody starts playin "Every Rose Has it's Thorn" by Poison.
Goosey: Noob asks "Is this country? ew."
Sentynel: o_o
Goosey: The entire room: "..."
Sam: ...
Goosey: If you can't tell the difference between a monster ballad and a country song, there is something wrong in your brain.
Sam: "Every cowboy sings a sad, sad song." <-------------- COUNTRY LYRICS
Sam: THAT MEANS = COUNTRY SONG
Goosey: LOL LOL
Sam: In all seriousness, that's probably what made him think that. Not that that's any excuse.
Goosey: Probably.

(I'm still kind of floored by this. Wow.)

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's . . .

Sam: Um, there was the biggest bee I've ever seen in here just now.
Goosey: O__O
Sam: I think it was a bumblebird.
Leen: EEK!
Leen: LOL
Goosey: LOL

Into the Freezer

Dave: Where on earth would you store 20 weeks' worth of food, anyhow?
Leen: In one of those big freezers Goosey was talking about.
Leen: They suckered Jake into one of those, too.
Goosey: Leen: Did they ever get him out?
Sam: Eh?
Sam: Leen didn't mean that they suckered Jake INTO THE FREEZER.
Dave: OH NO
Sam: Although that would have been hilarious.
Dave: JAKE IS IN THE FREEZER
Dave: AND GRANDMA IS PROTECTED AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS
Sam: "Jake! What are you doing locked in the freezer!?" // "Well, it was a really irresistable sales pitch!"

Little kid.

Sam: That's a backspace joke. You kids probably don't get that.
Maryam: I think there's only one person in this room under 30 right now.
Goosey: And he's idle.
Sam: You're still kids to me.
Maryam: I got it, anyway.
Sam: Ok, not really.
Sam: But seriously, anyone even, like, three years younger than me HAS to be a kid.
Sam: When I'm 95, I'll probably look at the 90-year-olds in the nursing home and thinking, "Little kid."

Dew-dew run run!

* TalkingDog considers digging some quarters out of the change bucket for another Dew run.
TalkingDog: We have store brand Dew, actually. And I haven't tried this one. But any motivation for exercise is probably good. Right?
Leen: Suuuuure
Goosey: TD: yeS!
Sam: I drank it on a Monday, and my heart stood still. Dew-dew run run run, dew-dew run run!
Goosey: LOL
Sam: I drank it all down, and I had my fill. Dew-dew run run run, dew-dew run run!
Goosey: YEAH
Goosey: That Dew is fine
Goosey: YEAH Gonna make it mine
Sam: And then I drove it home...
Sam: Dew-dew run run run, dew-dew run run!
Goosey: :-D

Tell Hearts and Other Pink Stuff to SHUT UP Month

Sam: What's February for you?
Goosey: Tell Hearts and Other Pink Stuff to SHUT UP Month
Sam: Ohhh.
Sam: Here. You may have a ♥ to tell to shut up.
Sam: You TELL that ♥.
Goosey: SHUT UP YOU LITTLE HEART
Ticia: ♥
* ♥ is silenced by Goosey and by Sam
* Goosey is given a @-`-,--`,--`-,---- by Ticia.
Goosey: That actually made me feel a little better
Randy: LOL
Goosey: YAY thanks Ticia!
* @-`-,--`,--`-,---- is smashed by Goosey and by Sam.
Sam: Oh wait, that was a good thing?
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: lol
Goosey: Sam: They are if they are presents for me. Then they are acceptable.
Sam: Ohhh.
Goosey: It's only the ones that are saying NEENER NEENER NOBODY IS GOING TO GIVE ME TO YOU that must be punished.
Randy: Those are evil
Sam: Ok, here is a ♥ from me to you. And here is a ♥ I just saw somewhere. Now bring a thunderstorm of love/hate smackdown on 'em!
Goosey: Thanks for the ♥ Sam!
Goosey: YOU OTHER ♥ SHUT UP AND GO AWAY
* Sam mashes the ♥ into a ♦ and sells it on eBay.
Goosey: LOL!
Ticia: G♥o♥o♥s♥e♥y♥t♥o♥t♥t♥a♥l♥y♥r♥o♥c♥k♥s♥
Goosey: :-D
Ticia: Haha, that is awesome.
* Sam ♣s the ♥ and buries it with a ♠.
Ticia: lol
Goosey: hahahhaah
Sam: Stupid ♥. Sitting there, all "Hey. I'm a ♥."
Goosey: LOL
Sam: I know how to pull Dave into this conversation.
Sam: Hey Dave. Ever notice that a ♥ is kind of like upside-down boobs?
Goosey: LOL LOL
Dave: No
Sam: Well. Now you know.
Dave: Sweet
Dave: Those are kind of droopy boobs, though.
Dave: I mean, hey. Wear a bra, honey.
Sam: Or maybe they're lighter-than-air right-side-up ones.
Goosey: Dirigible boobs?
Sam: That would be a great name for a band.
Dave: Either way, not cool.
Maryam: I would not want my boobs to be attacking my chin.
Randy: hehe
Sam: TOPICBOT

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Sam: Ok, so you're fine with me running a word count on my site then?
Sam: Looks like I have 414,083 words on At-A-Glance Film Reviews. Now let's count Adventure Games Live....
Sam: ;-)
Dave: Look, I already said those don't count.
Dave: Oh wait. No I didn't
Dave: Crap.
Sam: I COUNTS QED
Sam: *it
Dave: Dammit!
Dave: I lose again.
Sam: So anyway, let me know when you've written 4 more novels.
Dave: I'm just going to type the words "SCREW YOU" over and over again until I win.
Sam: Um
Sam: That number just hit me.
Sam: FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND WORDS ON FILM REVIEWS!?
Sam: WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Freecycle tomatoes

Leen: Alas, it's hard to find good tomatoes in the winter. :-/ * Leen makes her first post on freecycle.  Sam: For tomatoes? Leen: LOL Leen: You nut.

Return of the Chicken Panties

Dave: Don't put marbles in your nose. Do not put them in there!
Ticia: ???
Mia: Ticia: What is there to question? Don't put marbles up your nose. Seems pretty straight-forward to me.
* Sam is a male chauvinistic pig, because he believes that men can be bigger pigs than women can.
Ticia: I was wondering why Dave said that suddenly.
Goosey: lol
Sam: One time I didn't eat a bug.
Sam: But just the once.
Ticia: I'm guessing it's because he has a marble up each nostril.
* Lirelyn has no marbles to not put up her nose.
* TalkingDog thinks Dave is making a Home Movies reference, if he remembers his Adult Swim cartoons right
Randy: I think I tried to do that when I was a kid.
Mia: What about pennies? Are pennies okay to shove up your nose?
Dave: I dunno. The show didn't say anything about pennies.
Dave: I would guess it's ok.
Mia: Ah, okay. Good to know!
* Sam puts Mia's wrap up his nose
Mia: Oh, that's where my wrap went! I've been looking for that thing for like...12 years!
Dave: THAT'S A WRAP
Randy: Chicken wraps are awesome
Sam: CHICKEN PANTIES
Randy: Thats worse than a bacon bra.
Sam: I said that instead of "chicken patties" one time.
Sam: It was funny
Goosey: Sam: Either Phan or I has that in our blog somewhere hahaha

And here it is! http://rinkquotes.blogspot.com/2010/05/bread-shorts-and-chicken-panties.html

Ordering Guys

Ticia: I just ordered Five Guys online. Hehehe
Sam: You can order guys online?
Sam: I should have known.

Ten minutes later . . .

* Goosey JUST NOW GETS SAMS JOKE
* Goosey adds on to it too late
Goosey: Ticia: How many of them are Study Guys?
Randy: hehe

Corn Chips

ThePhan: The interviewer said, "Gorgeous, gorgeous" to Gwyneth Paltrow's dress, but I thought he said, "Corn chips, corn chips."
Sam: THE DRESS IS MADE OF CORN CHIPS.